Nervous About Starting Therapy? An Open Letter to You
Every person who has ever started therapy has once been where you are now. The hardest step to take is actually what you are doing right now: researching how to access support. So, first and foremost, I want to praise you for arriving at this point and I am really glad you are here.
Many of us experience emotions that eventually become too much to carry on our own, yet we don't know who to turn to. It can feel incredibly scary to imagine opening up to a complete stranger about your deepest thoughts and feelings. On top of that, you may wonder whether they're the right person to help you—or whether therapy will actually make you feel better.
So, to the person who is considering therapy, but is nervous about getting started, I know this feels intimidating and overwhelming, and I want you to know a few things:
It's Okay to Cry During Therapy
One of the most common things I hear from new clients is that they've been carrying years of emotions related to trauma, loss, stress, or other life challenges without ever having a truly safe place to let them out. Holding all of that inside can be exhausting. My hope is to create a space where you feel safe enough to simply be yourself, whatever that looks like that day. If the tears come, let them.
You don't have to apologize for your tears, and you don't have to feel embarrassed by them. Sometimes crying is simply your mind and body releasing what has been too heavy to carry alone for far too long.
I genuinely hope that when you leave each session, you feel just a little lighter than when you walked in.
You Don't Need to Know What to Say in Therapy
You don't have to walk into therapy knowing exactly what to say or how to explain everything you're feeling. In fact, many people don't.
Therapy is a space where you can let your guard down. Some days you'll have a clear idea of what you want to talk about. Other days, your thoughts may seem scattered, and that's okay. Sometimes the easiest thing to do is simply start talking and allow your thoughts to unfold naturally.
One of the benefits of therapy is having a trained professional help you sort through the thoughts, emotions, and experiences that may feel overwhelming on your own. Together, we can begin to make sense of what you're carrying and work toward the understanding, healing, and growth you're hoping to find.
You are in control of your therapy sessions
There is no "right way" to do therapy, and there is no specific topic that must be discussed in every session. Some days you may want more structure and focus on coping skills, emotion regulation, or mindfulness. Other days, you may want to talk about a vacation you're planning, a new hobby you're excited about, or simply process your week. Both are meaningful and productive ways to spend your time in therapy.
If you ever feel emotionally drained, need to pause, or simply don't want to continue a conversation that day, that's okay too. Your voice matters. This is your space, and you deserve to feel supported, respected, and empowered throughout the process.
It's okay if your first therapist isn't the right fit
This might be the biggest message I would like to share with someone nervous about starting therapy for the first time. It is very common to not truly know what you are needing from therapy until you begin working with a provider and see how it goes. You might find out that your initial goals are right on target, or you might discover there are more topics you are needing to navigate. You may also learn that your therapist's personality, communication style, or approach simply doesn't feel like the right fit for you. As you grow in self-awareness, you might even realize that a different style of therapy would better support your goals. That's okay, too.
A good therapist wants what's best for you. If they believe another provider would be a better fit for your needs, they should help you get connected with someone who is.
Don’t be discouraged if the first therapist you meet with does not feel like the best connection. This does not mean you will never find the right support person. It just means this person was not the best fit for you, but that person does exist!
If you made it to the end of this letter, I hope it gave you just enough encouragement to take that first step. Therapy doesn't require you to have everything figured out before you begin—it simply asks that you're willing to start.
When you're ready, I hope you find a therapist who helps you feel safe, heard, and supported. And if that therapist happens to be me, it would truly be a privilege to walk alongside you.
With Kindness,
Rachel Sabulsky, LCSW
Owner & Therapist
A Stronger You Counseling